Forgiveness is a Health Issue - by Dr. Roland Phillips

Resistance is any negative thought, word, deed, or even tension in my body. I could be on the giving or receiving end of the distress. The key to remember is that if it is in my life there is some lesson I can lean from it. Typically what I judge in another is an aspect of myself that I have not fully accepted, loved, learned & lived from. The situations you may initially look for may be serious physical attacks, traumas, or as innocuous as a snide remark. The key is if I have a repeated thought about myself, others, life, etc. The mind is stuck and needs to be readjusted.

For each incident where forgiveness is required there is a five step process. Write down each step, as this is part of the process.

1. Forgive the other person for what they did or didn’t do.
   
2. Give the other person permission to forgive me for what I did or didn’t do or would like to do in retaliation, or fix them, or prove to them, or change them.
   
3. Forgive myself for what I’ve been doing and not doing to myself: the false beliefs, the endless story of victimhood, the sabotaging, self-betrayal, self-deception and justification that keeps me stuck in a never ending rut of suffering and symptoms.
   
4. See the good and learn the lesson. As I write out these steps a theme will become clear, a virtue will show up, to be practiced and grateful for. All virtues like love, joy, patience, forgiveness, peace, start with an internal picture and feeling that manifests to an action.
   
5. Wish them well. Be grateful for the struggles, challenges, traumas and dramas, for it is in these experiences, these great teachers, that I begin to look inward for the grace and strength, returning to discover who I really am and manifest this externally.

Dr. Roland's website is http://desertdove.com